I don't think identity is discovered — I think it's constructed: assembled through decisions, relationships, and pressure, often without our consent. My essays sit at the meeting point of developmental psychology and philosophy, informed by clinical training and a life that tested the claim directly.
Under the trees. Still building.
I'm a writer and graduate student in Marriage and Family Therapy, working at the intersection of developmental psychology and philosophy. My claim is a simple one: the self isn't found. It's built — assembled through decisions, relationships, and pressure, often without our consent. I write about that claim, and what it costs to test it, at Deep Dives with Dave.
Psychology is good at describing mechanisms — attachment, reinforcement, the slow architecture of a personality. Philosophy is better at asking what any of that is for. My B.A. in Psychology (Magna Cum Laude, Sonoma State University, following an A.A. from Santa Rosa Junior College) and current MFT training sit in the gap between the two — closer to the literature that names what goes wrong in a life than to the harder question of how a person puts one back together.
Some of that gap, I know firsthand: a back injury that led to opioid dependency, then alcohol, then years finding my way out — alongside undiagnosed ADHD and a suicidal crisis that ended one version of my life. I mention it once, briefly, because it's the evidence behind the claim, not the subject of it.
I'm also a licensed real estate agent, which turns out to be another vantage point on people mid-transition — a divorce, a death, an attempt to build a different life somewhere else.
What I work on: the psychology and philosophy of becoming a person — identity, resilience, how people struggle and how people change.
Identity, resilience, and human behavior — approached as construction, not discovery. Psychologically grounded, philosophically curious, written for readers rather than researchers.
Individuation over symptom-fixing — why growth and "being okay" aren't the same project.
Where personal history meets developmental psychology, and where you find out who's writing.
The discipline of staying kind to yourself while the ground underneath you is still moving.
Who we're drawn to is rarely random — and it says more about identity than we tend to admit.
A contested topic, handled with evidence instead of certainty. This is the piece that shows the rigor.
What the Gottman Method taught me about the therapist's real job: not refereeing who's right, but helping couples rebuild the shared vision — and the trust — that everything else stands on.
Read on SubstackWhat the research actually says about how children adapt to family rupture — and where the popular narrative gets it wrong.
Read on SubstackSelf-compassion isn't self-pity or self-indulgence — it's a skill. A breakdown of Kristin Neff's three components (self-kindness, common humanity, mindfulness), with a real example of practicing them under pressure, on a podcast, mid-record.
Read on SubstackOn growing up under an authoritarian hand, and why research — and lived experience — both point the same direction: kids don't learn cooperation from consequences. They learn it from seeing what it earns them.
Read on SubstackA look at the science and the debate — puberty blockers, mental health comorbidities, bone density research, informed consent, and the open questions still shaping care for adolescents.
Read on SubstackDiagnostic, symptom-fixated therapy chases "okay." Jung and Rogers pointed somewhere further — individuation, shadow work, and a life built on more than the absence of a problem.
Read on SubstackDepression in kids often hides behind a convincing "I'm fine." On the warning signs caregivers and clinicians miss, and why so much of it is compounded by screens standing in for real connection.
Read on SubstackAttraction feels spontaneous, but it isn't random — the "field of eligibles," shared values, and mutual regard shape who we notice long before looks ever do.
Read on SubstackOn the parts of a self that hold steady and the parts that don't — and why mistaking one for the other is where most of the trouble starts.
Read on SubstackWhat's actually happening in the nervous system when a room full of people feels like a threat — and why "just be more confident" misunderstands the mechanism entirely.
Read on SubstackGuest appearances and publication credits coming soon.
For those doing similar work in their own lives — rebuilding after rupture, recovery, or a major identity shift — I offer limited 1:1 mentoring alongside my writing.
A note on what this is
Mentoring is not therapy or clinical treatment. I'm a graduate student, not a licensed clinician — if you're in crisis or need clinical support, I'll help you find the right resources instead.
Open to editorial invitations, freelancing assignments, interviews, and speaking — as well as mentoring inquiries. If you're an editor or publisher looking for thoughtful essays on identity, psychology, and personal reconstruction, I'd like to hear from you.